I'm going to rape someone's good day.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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