Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
