At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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