Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
