i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I am full of burrito and curiosity
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
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