I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
