I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
