My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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