So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
