yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
