idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
