i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Your cock deserves a montage
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
