i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
