You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
