His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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