I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
