hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
