you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
