Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
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