We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
