my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
