he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
