I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
