Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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