I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
