I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
We were destined to go to rehab together
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
that is very illegal...i love you.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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