pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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