Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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