that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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