ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
