I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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