Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
