bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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