Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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