I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
