Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize