WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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