i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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