I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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