Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
