This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Your penis caused this!
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
