Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
high people should be assigned attendants
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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