I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
