When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
