Only a mothe r could love this liver
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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