Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
