I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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