he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
