i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Randomize
