He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
