pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
