Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
