I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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