I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
