Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
