We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize