She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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