$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
