Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
