I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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