Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize